How it all started...

First, I should get it out that I'm not the perfect parent nor have I ever claimed to be. I just passionately believe that if you're going to do it, you have got to do it right. There is no such thing as passive parenting in my book. Parents who park their kids in front of Baby Einstein videos or whatever happens to be on Toon Disney drive me bananas. You have got to be involved. That's where the magic happens.

My parenting journey started during a very tumultuous time during my life. Like many women, I got pregnant at an inconvenient time. It was at that point though, that I decided that my child was number one and I needed to make decisions in her best interest. Part of what led me to that decision may have been Divine Intervention.

In early January of 2003, I had recently divorced my husband. One night I had a dream that I was sitting in a rocking chair, holding a baby wrapped in a pink blanket. In the dream, he gave me a toggle bracelet with the date 9/22/03 engraved on one side. The next day I actually told him about the dream. Two weeks later, when I started vomiting consistently at 4 p.m. everyday, I knew my life was about to change forever. The doctor confirmed what I already knew to be true and said I was due on 10/13/03. Sure enough, on 9/22/03, my amazing Mooka (short for Mooka-Chooka-Latte another story for another day) came into my world and life has never been the same.

So back to making decisions. A and I talked and were committed to providing the best home for Mooka. A year after she was born, we remarried. To me it just seemed like the natural thing to do even though I knew it was going to be hard as hell. We had enough problems to divorce before a child; how could we possibly make it work now? The answer for me has been that before a child, I was selfish and had no interest in putting in effort to make something work. Our society is conditioned to take the easy out, which is exactly what we had done. Did we make the right decision? Who knows. A very wise friend once told me "There are no right or wrong decisions. There is YOUR decision and you make that one work." I cling to that philosophy often.

Today we have two amazing kids and wouldn't change a thing. Has it been easy - of course not. Do I ever doubt myself - of course. But this is my decision and I'm committed to making it work.