Unless you have been living under a rock, you have already heard about how the town we live in just made national news with a horrible bullying attack on a school bus.
The whole ordeal has made me sick and brought me to tears for several reasons.
First - I can't stand bullying. I was never in the popular crowd, but I also wasn't an outcast (at least not in my own opinion.) I hung out somewhere in the middle. But, I always have had compassion for the person who isn't quite like everyone else. I remember in grade school, I would make it a point to play with the kids from the special ed class because no one else would. I didn't mind if everyone in high school thought I was a freak. I worked for The Salvation Army for thirteen years and once ate Easter dinner with a prostitute and a "John". I never once felt like I was entitled to something more or better than them. My point is, it doesn't matter what life experiences a person has walked through, everyone is on a journey to be better than they were the day before. I believe everyone deserves to be treated equally and with respect. To me it doesn't matter how different a person happens to be, they still are human with dreams, hopes and feelings. At the end of the day, each person is going through "something" and as humans we should help each other in this walk. With all my heart, I believe no person is better than another regardless of race, education, title, gender, you get the picture. When I see or hear about someone belittling another person or attacking someone because they feel like they can, it makes me want to vomit.
Second - The media should be ashamed of themselves for continuing to promote the video. I will not link to the video or any stories that provide the details about what happened. There has been entirely too much promotion. Kids now think it is cool to gain notoriety by posting videos of beating the crap out of each other. The media is continuing to feed the monster.
Third - My heart breaks for those of us raising children in this day and age. While society has continued to make advances in technology and science, it has also taken major steps back in areas like values, respect, and family. I know in our house, it takes a LOT of work to make things work. We have also made the commitment to raising our children in love and letting them know every single day that our lives are blessed by their presence. And each day, it feels like we are slipping into the minority.
Babies have become accessories. Children are raising themselves and I think we are starting to see this generation act out survival of the fittest. We now have kids that are mature way beyond their years overtaking the innocence that once was childhood. The things that some children are exposed to now in grade school, I didn't have figured out until I was out of high school. There is just so much evil attacking their little souls.
And finally, I pray that the school takes a stand. A FIRM stand. I think the kids that did the beating should be taken out of the school system and put into serious therapy. I think the parents of those children, should be put into crisis counseling. I think the children who cheered on the bullies should be suspended and if any of them are seniors, they should not be allowed to walk with the rest of their class in the spring. The school has to let it be known that this type of behavior or supporting it, will not be tolerated.
Parents - hug your kids. Turn off the tv and read them a book. Tell them how much you love them. It's up to us to make a difference with this next generation.
Showing posts with label opinions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label opinions. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Great baby shower gift
One regret I have from each of the kid's first year is not capturing the same pose month after month to document how fast they were growing. I had great intentions, but just didn't quite get it together. So when my Chicago friend hinted that she wanted this simple but wonderful gift, I was excited to order them.
The concept is easy: put baby in onesie, place sticker on baby, take picture, repeat once a month. AMAZING! The best thing about this idea, is it won't get tossed out or become obsolete after the first three months.
If you're giving it as a gift, buy the stickers and a variety of sized white onesies, voila! You're done. I highly recommend this idea for anyone who has to buy a baby gift. Especially after trying to navigate the baby shower registry in the store the night before the shower - that was a disaster.
You can buy the stickers at www.pickysticky.com.
The concept is easy: put baby in onesie, place sticker on baby, take picture, repeat once a month. AMAZING! The best thing about this idea, is it won't get tossed out or become obsolete after the first three months.
If you're giving it as a gift, buy the stickers and a variety of sized white onesies, voila! You're done. I highly recommend this idea for anyone who has to buy a baby gift. Especially after trying to navigate the baby shower registry in the store the night before the shower - that was a disaster.
You can buy the stickers at www.pickysticky.com.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Soap Box - Reality TV
Note – If you are part of the majority, you will probably disagree with everything in this post.
It’s all over the media today.
The big announcement.
I haven’t watched the show for several years and gave up celebrity gossip months ago, but yet I still decided to watch.
Not because I wanted to watch another marriage bite the dust, but because I was hoping for them.
It’s completely disgusting to hear all the comments about “Like we didn’t see THAT coming.” I watched, because I thought maybe, just maybe, they would announce that they were going to get help. And then everyone today would be saying “WOW, I really didn’t see that coming.” It’s like all of the television viewers just wanted to watch the train plow into the brick wall.
But no, they took the selfish route.
This is a topic that is very real in my life. I know I am surrounded by people who constantly disagree with me when I say I choose to make marriage work for the sake of my kids. Argue as you would like, but it’s my life.
The thing I’ve learned about marriage is that it is a selfless commitment.
Sure, I think my husband is lazy (most of the time – he’s trying).
And yep, I’m a control freak and rude 70% of the time (I’m trying)
And no, it’s not easy.
And yes, there are days, weeks, months where I’m ready to throw in the towel (or pick up the baseball bat.)
And yes, I’d love to be able to go get my nails done rather than dispense 500 sippy cups of juice on a Saturday.
And yeah, A. would love to be able to buy a 75 inch television rather than pay for daycare.
But WE, made a choice. WE have two amazing little lives that WE were CHOSEN to raise. So regardless of what comes our way, WE have to put our own selfish desires aside and figure out how to make it work.
It seems like we are in the minority when it comes to this mentality anymore. Anytime we have a rough patch, the advice I’m given is leave. The advice all of the broken families get is leave.
Well, what about staying?
What about trying to work out your differences?
What about trying to focus on someone other than yourself?
It makes me so angry when I hear things like “I’m only 32, I still have my life ahead of me.” If you call chasing tail making a life for yourself, then yeah, you’ve got the rejection, loneliness and uncertainty to look forward to. Enjoy.
It made me even madder when it was said "We want what's best for the kids." Really? What's best for the kids is for the parents to grow up and start seeing beyond the end of their own noses. Kids need loving families. End of story.
This family has a ridiculous amount of money and could have paid for the best family counselors available. But the show didn’t take that route, just announce the separation take a commercial and announce the divorce.
Why not at least show them trying?!
I suppose that would not have made for must see tv.
It’s all over the media today.
The big announcement.
I haven’t watched the show for several years and gave up celebrity gossip months ago, but yet I still decided to watch.
Not because I wanted to watch another marriage bite the dust, but because I was hoping for them.
It’s completely disgusting to hear all the comments about “Like we didn’t see THAT coming.” I watched, because I thought maybe, just maybe, they would announce that they were going to get help. And then everyone today would be saying “WOW, I really didn’t see that coming.” It’s like all of the television viewers just wanted to watch the train plow into the brick wall.
But no, they took the selfish route.
This is a topic that is very real in my life. I know I am surrounded by people who constantly disagree with me when I say I choose to make marriage work for the sake of my kids. Argue as you would like, but it’s my life.
The thing I’ve learned about marriage is that it is a selfless commitment.
Sure, I think my husband is lazy (most of the time – he’s trying).
And yep, I’m a control freak and rude 70% of the time (I’m trying)
And no, it’s not easy.
And yes, there are days, weeks, months where I’m ready to throw in the towel (or pick up the baseball bat.)
And yes, I’d love to be able to go get my nails done rather than dispense 500 sippy cups of juice on a Saturday.
And yeah, A. would love to be able to buy a 75 inch television rather than pay for daycare.
But WE, made a choice. WE have two amazing little lives that WE were CHOSEN to raise. So regardless of what comes our way, WE have to put our own selfish desires aside and figure out how to make it work.
It seems like we are in the minority when it comes to this mentality anymore. Anytime we have a rough patch, the advice I’m given is leave. The advice all of the broken families get is leave.
Well, what about staying?
What about trying to work out your differences?
What about trying to focus on someone other than yourself?
It makes me so angry when I hear things like “I’m only 32, I still have my life ahead of me.” If you call chasing tail making a life for yourself, then yeah, you’ve got the rejection, loneliness and uncertainty to look forward to. Enjoy.
It made me even madder when it was said "We want what's best for the kids." Really? What's best for the kids is for the parents to grow up and start seeing beyond the end of their own noses. Kids need loving families. End of story.
This family has a ridiculous amount of money and could have paid for the best family counselors available. But the show didn’t take that route, just announce the separation take a commercial and announce the divorce.
Why not at least show them trying?!
I suppose that would not have made for must see tv.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Do Christian working moms exist?
As I’ve mentioned before, it is sometimes difficult being a Christian working mom. Especially if your “working” profile, means more than putting in 15 hours a week as a cashier. The path I’ve chosen means working 50 – 60 hours a week and constantly being “on call”. I also wouldn't change what I do to stay at home. I was not wired for that role. Bottom line, I feel like I do not fit in with other Christian women.
Last night, I went to an all women service at church. The message was about priorities and aligning those with how the Bible commands that we live. In theory a pretty simple concept:
1) God
2) Family
3) Everything else
When the speaker asked how many people in the group (around 100 of us), work outside of the home, there were maybe 10 of us who raised our hands. I felt like a complete outcast. I don’t think any part of the message was intended to be condemning. But as the message continued, I also continued to feel less and less like I could be a good Christian woman because of my life style.
Complete with the self defeating voices in my head, I left the meeting feeling like a failure. No where in those priorities does “be the primary bread winner” fit into the picture.
If you take religion out of the mix, I think working moms still face the pressure of feeling like we have to be able to do it all. What’s worse is we’ve been conditioned that it is a sign of weakness to admit that we can’t possibly do it all.
But that cannot possibly be right.
So this has been on my mind all day. I believe I can love God and my family and still maintain a professional career. In fact, I see my career as my opportunity to help be a witness to other women who are struggling to do it all. The only way I am able to manage everything is by God’s grace.
And let me be very transparent here, I am not a perfect Christian. I have spent most of my adult life making some very big mistakes. But I know that I want to improve my life so I can be a better wife, mother, friend and leader. We all have to start somewhere. I just wish I had more role models and peer support along the way.
If you are reading this and are in a similar inward battle, I would love to hear how you make things work.
Last night, I went to an all women service at church. The message was about priorities and aligning those with how the Bible commands that we live. In theory a pretty simple concept:
1) God
2) Family
3) Everything else
When the speaker asked how many people in the group (around 100 of us), work outside of the home, there were maybe 10 of us who raised our hands. I felt like a complete outcast. I don’t think any part of the message was intended to be condemning. But as the message continued, I also continued to feel less and less like I could be a good Christian woman because of my life style.
Complete with the self defeating voices in my head, I left the meeting feeling like a failure. No where in those priorities does “be the primary bread winner” fit into the picture.
If you take religion out of the mix, I think working moms still face the pressure of feeling like we have to be able to do it all. What’s worse is we’ve been conditioned that it is a sign of weakness to admit that we can’t possibly do it all.
But that cannot possibly be right.
So this has been on my mind all day. I believe I can love God and my family and still maintain a professional career. In fact, I see my career as my opportunity to help be a witness to other women who are struggling to do it all. The only way I am able to manage everything is by God’s grace.
And let me be very transparent here, I am not a perfect Christian. I have spent most of my adult life making some very big mistakes. But I know that I want to improve my life so I can be a better wife, mother, friend and leader. We all have to start somewhere. I just wish I had more role models and peer support along the way.
If you are reading this and are in a similar inward battle, I would love to hear how you make things work.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Teen pregnancy spokesperson
A friend of mine is a PE teacher at a local high school. Part of her job is teaching the sex-ed course. Talking with her on New Year's Eve got me to thinking that I should become a spokesperson against teen pregnancy because there are just some things that classes and books do not prepare you for.
You will never know sleep again. The books talk about the first few months. It doesn’t stop there. Kids don’t understand the concept of sleeping in. And just when you think they are old enough to just sit and quietly watch television while you get just 30 minutes more, you wake up to find your white kitchen cabinets have become the canvas for their latest Sharpie masterpiece.
You know how you like to just “run into the store to pick up something”? You are better off to just grow, make, sew, or harvest it in your own backyard. It’s a lot less stressful and will probably save you time.
If you have a favorite outfit, you will have to put it in a shadow box to admire it. As soon as you wear it, someone will pee, blow snot, throw up, make a poo or take a Sharpie to it. Not that you will be dressing up and going anywhere nice for the first 5 years.
You will pee your pants. All. The. Time. After giving birth to two 9 lb. children, I have learned that I cannot laugh, sneeze, cough, throw up, jump on a trampoline, do a jumping jack, do a sit up, yawn, stand up too quickly, or a variety of otherwise innocent everyday tasks without peeing my pants. And if you do have the good fortune of going out for drinks with a friend, save yourself the embarrassment and just go ahead and put the poise pad in before you leave the house (p.s. you’re days of wearing thongs will also become a distant memory – pantie lines are the new black.)
At some point, you’re perfectly highlighted-Chi-ironed hair will end up with poo in it. There’s really no way to predict this one, but it will happen most likely when you are out in public.
And lastly, I would leave them with this two word surprise – mucus plug.
You will never know sleep again. The books talk about the first few months. It doesn’t stop there. Kids don’t understand the concept of sleeping in. And just when you think they are old enough to just sit and quietly watch television while you get just 30 minutes more, you wake up to find your white kitchen cabinets have become the canvas for their latest Sharpie masterpiece.
You know how you like to just “run into the store to pick up something”? You are better off to just grow, make, sew, or harvest it in your own backyard. It’s a lot less stressful and will probably save you time.
If you have a favorite outfit, you will have to put it in a shadow box to admire it. As soon as you wear it, someone will pee, blow snot, throw up, make a poo or take a Sharpie to it. Not that you will be dressing up and going anywhere nice for the first 5 years.
You will pee your pants. All. The. Time. After giving birth to two 9 lb. children, I have learned that I cannot laugh, sneeze, cough, throw up, jump on a trampoline, do a jumping jack, do a sit up, yawn, stand up too quickly, or a variety of otherwise innocent everyday tasks without peeing my pants. And if you do have the good fortune of going out for drinks with a friend, save yourself the embarrassment and just go ahead and put the poise pad in before you leave the house (p.s. you’re days of wearing thongs will also become a distant memory – pantie lines are the new black.)
At some point, you’re perfectly highlighted-Chi-ironed hair will end up with poo in it. There’s really no way to predict this one, but it will happen most likely when you are out in public.
And lastly, I would leave them with this two word surprise – mucus plug.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Economic meltdown and kids
I suppose it was only a matter of time before the economy started to impact kids. I have always heard about school funding being in jeopardy, but never pre-schools.
My kids go to a privately owned pre-school, but approximately half of the kids at the school receive funding through the state in a program called CHASI.
I found out this morning that the state of Illinois is significantly behind on providing this funding to the schools and consequently the school will have to turn away those kids after this week. This upsets me on so many different fronts.
What will the families do who will no longer have care? Providing quality child care is one of the toughest things a parent will face. We went through two horrible experiences with home care providers and I shutter at the thought that some of these kids will be forced into similar situations. Not to mention the outrageous cost to have someone provide quality care. If an alternate cannot be found, many employers are not forgiving when it comes to having to take time off work to care for your child and I'm sure many of these moms don't have a work from home option.
How do you explain what's going on to the kids? I firmly believe in protecting a child's innocence. It's impossible to answer their questions about 'why don't I go to school anymore' or 'what happened to my friends' without compromising that opinion.
You can make your opinions on this issue known by contacting the Illinois State Representatives and the Governor's office.
My kids go to a privately owned pre-school, but approximately half of the kids at the school receive funding through the state in a program called CHASI.
I found out this morning that the state of Illinois is significantly behind on providing this funding to the schools and consequently the school will have to turn away those kids after this week. This upsets me on so many different fronts.
What will the families do who will no longer have care? Providing quality child care is one of the toughest things a parent will face. We went through two horrible experiences with home care providers and I shutter at the thought that some of these kids will be forced into similar situations. Not to mention the outrageous cost to have someone provide quality care. If an alternate cannot be found, many employers are not forgiving when it comes to having to take time off work to care for your child and I'm sure many of these moms don't have a work from home option.
How do you explain what's going on to the kids? I firmly believe in protecting a child's innocence. It's impossible to answer their questions about 'why don't I go to school anymore' or 'what happened to my friends' without compromising that opinion.
You can make your opinions on this issue known by contacting the Illinois State Representatives and the Governor's office.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Working at the Sal
When I was in the eighth grade, I took on a non-traditional job. I became the pianist for The Salvation Army. Most people are unaware of the fact that The Sal is a church first and an outreach organization second. So, every Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night, I went to my "job" playing the piano.
Over the years, my job duties increased. I helped in social services, prison outreach, nursing home and children ministries, the thrift store, bookkeeping, and eventually my first real job out of college would be at one of the divisional headquarters in disaster services.
But the one job that I held that is most vivid to me is that of bell ringer. Every year I am reminded of this position when the bell ringers come out in full force. It wasn't a paid position. I would help out when the "volunteers" did not show up for their duty or when there was just a shortage of help. I had seen first hand how the money from the bell ringing campaign was used and knew it was critical to our community support efforts.
I remember the first night I was out there ringing. At first, I thought I was going to lose my mind. The constant clang of the bell. The freezing cold wind. Virtually no one to talk to except for the occasional "thank you" and I do mean occasional. I pressed on for my three hour shift and then went home to my nice warm bed.
The next night, I started in with my clanging and went back into my trance. But this time, I started thinking about how few people that walk by actually drop money in the kettles. It was sad, maybe 1 in 20. Next, I did the math on how much money my kettle would bring in for the night if each person walking by dropped only a quarter. Just one quarter from each person that walked by that night would have made my kettle one of the top producers. But that's not what happened, I stood out there ringing away and got the occasional drop. Night after night, it was much of the same.
Now that I have kids, I want to make sure they understand the importance of giving back. Whether it be through their time (which we will do later this year), giving their toys away, or putting away some of their own money to give to someone in need.
This weekend we were out and saw the first bell ringers of the season. And this year is the first year the kids have both been old enough to truly understand what the kettles are all about. I was so proud of both of them for asking me for money to put into the kettle and even more so when they began telling me what the money would be used for.
Times are tough for all of us. I can almost guarantee that if you are reading this post you have felt the tough times. However, most of us do not know what it feels like to go to bed hungry or cold because we do not have electricity or a roof over our heads. Heck, most of us do not go a full week without ordering fast food at a drive thru. Think about that this year as you walk past those bell ringers. Dig in your purse or car seat for that extra change. Be radical and give up a meal out this week and give that money away. Somewhere, someone you will never know will receive that blessing.
Over the years, my job duties increased. I helped in social services, prison outreach, nursing home and children ministries, the thrift store, bookkeeping, and eventually my first real job out of college would be at one of the divisional headquarters in disaster services.
But the one job that I held that is most vivid to me is that of bell ringer. Every year I am reminded of this position when the bell ringers come out in full force. It wasn't a paid position. I would help out when the "volunteers" did not show up for their duty or when there was just a shortage of help. I had seen first hand how the money from the bell ringing campaign was used and knew it was critical to our community support efforts.
I remember the first night I was out there ringing. At first, I thought I was going to lose my mind. The constant clang of the bell. The freezing cold wind. Virtually no one to talk to except for the occasional "thank you" and I do mean occasional. I pressed on for my three hour shift and then went home to my nice warm bed.
The next night, I started in with my clanging and went back into my trance. But this time, I started thinking about how few people that walk by actually drop money in the kettles. It was sad, maybe 1 in 20. Next, I did the math on how much money my kettle would bring in for the night if each person walking by dropped only a quarter. Just one quarter from each person that walked by that night would have made my kettle one of the top producers. But that's not what happened, I stood out there ringing away and got the occasional drop. Night after night, it was much of the same.
Now that I have kids, I want to make sure they understand the importance of giving back. Whether it be through their time (which we will do later this year), giving their toys away, or putting away some of their own money to give to someone in need.
This weekend we were out and saw the first bell ringers of the season. And this year is the first year the kids have both been old enough to truly understand what the kettles are all about. I was so proud of both of them for asking me for money to put into the kettle and even more so when they began telling me what the money would be used for.
Times are tough for all of us. I can almost guarantee that if you are reading this post you have felt the tough times. However, most of us do not know what it feels like to go to bed hungry or cold because we do not have electricity or a roof over our heads. Heck, most of us do not go a full week without ordering fast food at a drive thru. Think about that this year as you walk past those bell ringers. Dig in your purse or car seat for that extra change. Be radical and give up a meal out this week and give that money away. Somewhere, someone you will never know will receive that blessing.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
The great stay at home debate
I have mixed feelings towards stay at home moms. Part of me is jealous that I don't have this option, but the other part of me is pretty sure that I would go bananas if I had to attempt to survive toddler antics all day every day.
The thing I definitely don't enjoy are the stay at home moms that judge working moms. There are plenty of mom blogs from these ladies who freely caste their judgment on us working moms. And I'm not saying that stay at home moms don't work hard...I get it, you clean and take care of kids all day long and yes, it's a job. But don't insinuate that working moms somehow care less about our kids or that we are not concerned with nurturing our young ones, in a lot of our cases, staying at home just was not in the hand we were dealt. Some of us even choose to work. It shows our children independence and hard work.
There was an incident a couple of weeks ago after church that sparked this post. I had noticed that a MOPS group was forming for the fall; however the group meets on Tuesdays at 10 a.m. After the church service, the group had a sign up table set up outside. I walked over and asked the lady tending to the table if they had ever considered an evening meeting time for working mothers. She looked at me like I had spoken some sort of evil and snorted "We did think about it once, but then we decided, well, you know - majority rules! I think there may be a group at other churches in the area."
Really?
I mean really?
I wanted to smack her.
Then I decided that wouldn't be very "Christianly" of me.
O, but I wanted to smack her.
So, we left and I played her remarks over and over in my mind. I went through feeling sorry for myself because I'm not part of the "majority". Then I went through the snotty phase of wanting to ask her if she intentionally married into money so that she could sit back and eat bon bons everyday.
I digress.
Kudos to all of the moms out there who are able to stay at home and raise their children.
And to those of us who work 50 hours a week, keep our homes in working order and still raise some pretty spectacular kids - hold your heads high and pat yourselves on the back for being able to do it all!
The thing I definitely don't enjoy are the stay at home moms that judge working moms. There are plenty of mom blogs from these ladies who freely caste their judgment on us working moms. And I'm not saying that stay at home moms don't work hard...I get it, you clean and take care of kids all day long and yes, it's a job. But don't insinuate that working moms somehow care less about our kids or that we are not concerned with nurturing our young ones, in a lot of our cases, staying at home just was not in the hand we were dealt. Some of us even choose to work. It shows our children independence and hard work.
There was an incident a couple of weeks ago after church that sparked this post. I had noticed that a MOPS group was forming for the fall; however the group meets on Tuesdays at 10 a.m. After the church service, the group had a sign up table set up outside. I walked over and asked the lady tending to the table if they had ever considered an evening meeting time for working mothers. She looked at me like I had spoken some sort of evil and snorted "We did think about it once, but then we decided, well, you know - majority rules! I think there may be a group at other churches in the area."
Really?
I mean really?
I wanted to smack her.
Then I decided that wouldn't be very "Christianly" of me.
O, but I wanted to smack her.
So, we left and I played her remarks over and over in my mind. I went through feeling sorry for myself because I'm not part of the "majority". Then I went through the snotty phase of wanting to ask her if she intentionally married into money so that she could sit back and eat bon bons everyday.
I digress.
Kudos to all of the moms out there who are able to stay at home and raise their children.
And to those of us who work 50 hours a week, keep our homes in working order and still raise some pretty spectacular kids - hold your heads high and pat yourselves on the back for being able to do it all!
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