Parenting Lesson #8

Taking a child to the ER will never be easy.

On Friday, I got a call from the school letting me know that we needed to come get Baby Bear. He had been hit in the head with a child’s garden hoe.

What the heck was a garden hoe doing on a school play ground? Thank God A. was the one who got to ask those questions.

I work about 40 minutes away from the school so I sat on the phone with A. and got the full play by play as he picked up the kids, went to the doctor’s office and then over to the ER.

Walking up to the ER doors I just wanted to throw up.

Bad things are not supposed to happen to your kids.

We were very blessed that he only had to have one staple and for the most part, he was completely un-phased by the whole thing.

There really just isn’t a worse feeling in life than not being able to “make it better” or take away the pain for your child. This is my first real go around with this feeling and I pray we don’t have to go through it again anytime soon.

Ginormica

These pants fit just fine in December.

And this morning...

Another first

Last night after Mooka had already brushed her teeth, I noticed that she had hijacked a package of Skittles into her room for her midnight snack. There she stood, chugging them as fast as she could.

Me: You aren't supposed to have those and you are going to need to get in here to brush your teeth again.

*Insert door slam here*

Moo (from behind the door): When is daddy coming home?

I won't continue with the rest of our discussion as positive reinforcement was NOT a technique that I opted for. Let's just say 5 has been a tough year for my parenting tolerance level.

I am including this photo because this is the look she had on her face when I opened the fore mentioned slammed door...

The difference between girl mice and boy mice

Early on, during our relationship contract negotiations, A. and I came to the following agreement:

I kill the spiders.

He kills the mice.

So, the other night when we were watching Rachel Getting Married (which was really lame, but that's another story) and a mouse scurried across the foyer floor, A. began fulfilling his duties to track and destroy said mouse.

I politely mounted my observation deck on top of the foot stool and then later the stair case.

For the next hour and half, I watched him chase little mouse through the coat closet and play room.

He finally was able to coax little mouse into a container and then carry him down the street for his release into freedom.

A couple of disclaimers here:
- While I HATE mice, I did not want to see it smashed by a broom or baseball bat (yes, both of which were used during the battle royale)
- The poor little mouse actually surrendered more or less after being whacked in the head several hundred times, he just kind of stood up against the wall and looked A. in the eyes as if to say, "Look dude, you people are nuts, you've got Crazy over there who has been squealing for nearly 2 hours, you're hitting me, let's just call a truce and how about you get me the heck out of this place."

Surprisingly, neither of the kids woke up during the fiasco.

However, the next day when they came down the stairs to discover every pair of shoes from the front closet and every single toy had been tossed from the front of the house to the back of the house, they immediately announced that they had not made the mess nor would they be responsible for cleaning it up.

After telling them what had happened, Mooka just looked at me in complete disgust. She then asked if it was a girl mouse or a boy mouse. I told her there was really no way of knowing. She then asked (with a certain how-did-you-get-to-be-a-mom tone)...

"Well did it have eye lashes or not? The girls have eye lashes."

Of course, how could I have not thought to look for eye lashes.

She must have learned that in Disney Biology 101.

Parenting Lesson #12

The saying "Patience is a virtue" becomes your mantra after having children.


I have learned to accept a ton of things and to be patient as a parent.

Coloring on the walls - check
Using finger nail polish to paint the carpet - check
Peeing on the floor - check
Throwing food - check
Crying in public - check
Constant bickering between the two of them - check
Never liking any food put in front of them - check
Hiding lunch meat in the closets - check

And the list just goes on.

However...

Baby Bear has started this thing where he talks like Carol Channing and it drives me bananas. He loves to make his sister laugh and has an assortment of voices that he will use to entertain her.

But this one...makes.me.crazy.

Yes, I'm really a parent to two children

On Tuesday, we had our first ever parent/teacher conference for our kids. I had no idea that they even did such a thing with pre-school.

There really weren’t any surprises…they are both exceptionally smart for their age, Mooka is a natural leader and Baby Bear does not like to sit still.

It was what happened during the conference that is particularly concerning.

First, let me just throw out this disclaimer – I have the maturity level of a 10 year old boy, especially when it comes to farting or acting appropriate in public.

We sat down with one of the teachers and 2 minutes into the conversation, I noticed it - a rather long (at least one inch maybe even two) hair growing out of her chin.

Must.
Hold.
It.
Together.

I made the mistake of glancing at A. and his eyes were completely locked in on it.

Can’t.
Laugh.

Now, I’ve been known to erupt into full on hysterics when something strikes my fancy and I was so freaked out that I was going to lose it. At one point, a tear actually slid down my cheek.

I tried really hard to maintain eye contact and did not dare glance A.’s way.
The entire time, I just kept hearing Austin Powers in the back of my mind.



I'm trying really hard to grow out of this phase.

And here it is...

For those of you who track my incredible cake making skills,I bring you the birthday cake (or birthday sushi).



And, yes, once again, those are twinkies in there. The kid's both LOVED it.



In order to keep the birthday posts to a minimum, I'll just go ahead and let you check out the pictures for yourself.