Monday, July 27, 2009

How was your weekend?

You know how you come back to work on Monday and the first thing someone says to you is, “How was your weekend?”

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you were completely honest?

Imagine the look on people’s faces if I decided to indulge them with the details of exactly how my weekend went.

Friday night, Mooka broke out in hives for no real good reason. She was also doing the itchy dance all over the house. By Saturday afternoon, she was in full on hysterics over the itchies, so I did the head inspection.

(Do you see where this is going?)

That’s right.


Disgusting, repulsive, creepy crawly lice.


Upon further inspection, all four of us had it.
Sorry if you just threw up in your mouth, cause I did.

If you’ve ever had your car broken in to and you experience that violated feeling, well, that’s how it feels to get lice.

The next three hours of my life were spent treating, washing, combing, plucking, rinsing three heads.

This was followed by twenty loads of laundry over the next 48 hours.

My Saturday night was supposed to be spent at a friend’s birthday party (again, how is THAT for an excuse on why I didn’t show up).

Finally, at 9 o’clock at night I made the trip back to the store to get more supplies to do my hair.

I must have used too much of the goo on my hair, because after the wash and rinse step, my hair looked like I had attempted to give myself a Jheri Curl treatment but with too much Jheri and without the curl. I normally use “ethnic” hair products on my hair and have no issues with being over conditioned (another story for another day). This stuff made me an oily mess.

The next morning when I got up to go to church, I noticed my hair still rivaled an Exxon spill. Fortunately for me, it was my week to play in the church band. I tried to channel my inner-artist-formally-known-as-prince-self and do something with it, but just ended up looking like a hot mess. No one said anything about it (but if you’re reading now and you did notice, thanks for not asking.)

The house, cars, furniture, walls, kids have all been fumigated, but I still feel completely dirty.

And that was my weekend. How was yours?


Connie said...

Ah man!! I'm so sorry! I was just reading an article on CNN yesterday about the top four grossest kid maladies ( Lice was number 2, but I think scabies creeped me out more. Hope your household is now cootie free!

Jamie said...

hahaha. i'm sorry but i can't stop laughing. i think you get the suckiest weekend award for sure!

hope the itchies have stopped!

Liv N Learn said...

From out in the audience it was not noticeable at all! I hope your week is a million times better.