Torn

A couple weeks ago (and yes, I've been very lazy with updating this blog) Mooka came home from school with a big packet of information stating that she had qualified for the gifted program.

I think most parents would be excited to get that sort of news, but I was more like, well, duh. I have actually been worried that she is not getting enough out of school as she and her brother seem to be covering the same type of lessons while he is still in pre-school.

Less than 5% of the kindergarten and 1st grade students combined are invited into the program and she is the only one in her class who was selected. This is another thing that bothers me. I don't want her to feel like she is different. I don't want her to feel pressure to have to perform a certain way in school. I remember being a junior in high school and nearly giving my self a aneurysm when I thought I wasn't going to make it into National Honor Society. And guess what, my grades have never impacted me one bit in my adult life. It's not like I've ever gone into a job interview and been asked "What were your grades like in high school English?" It just really doesn't make a whole lot of difference.

So, I actually struggled with the decision to let her be a part of the program. When we talked about it, I asked her if she knew why she was being asked to go to a different class or if she knew what they would do. She was told it was a special reading class so that she could read more books. Which is fine with me. I would prefer for her to NOT hear that it is a "gifted" class because of the stigma that is associated with that word.

The good thing is that we can take her out of the class at any time. They also wrap up the testing to get into the program with the regular standardized testing that the school does each year. And if she doesn't get in next year, that it A-OK by me.

The birthday cake

I was actually pretty impressed with the way this one turned out. Unlike some of my other attempts to be creative in the kitchen, this one actually resembled the picture in the book.





I got the idea from this great book called "Hello Cupcake." It has a ton of great pictures and provides step-by-step instructions.

And most important, the birthday girl LOVED it!

Happy Birthday baby girl!

Dear Mooka,

I cannot believe how quickly this past year flew by. It literally feels like yesterday that I was sad because you were turning five. And now you are six! Six! We now have to use two hands to count your age.

The things I will remember most about you being five...

You LOVE your brother and you do everything with him.



You LOVE to read and you read everything to us.
You eat like a bird, unless we are having fondue or sloppy joes.
You hate to have your hair combed.
Your favorite girl singer is Taylor Swift.
Your favorite band is Skillet (and you can sing most anything by them).
You save every single note I write and stick in your lunch box (even if it's on a napkin).
You flip out at the thought or mention of the squirrel from the movie Ice Age.
If kids were allowed to compete on American Gladiator, you would be first in line for try-outs.
You still suck your thumb and twirl your hair.
You still crawl into bed with us most nights.
You are absolutely the sweetest little girl as long as things are done your way.
You love to make us laugh.


The biggest difference I have noticed in this past year is that you have gone from being a baby girl to a little girl. So much about you has changed. I wish I could just stop time and keep you this size forever.

But, no matter how big you get, Daddy and I will always think of you as our little baby girl.

We love you so very much. We thank God each and every day for blessing us with such a wonderful gift!

Love - Mommy and Daddy

First day of school 1.4

Today is the real first full day of school - YAY!


On a side note, I have really begun to enjoy the time alone that Baby Bear and I have in the car alone after we drop Mooka off at school. There are about 7 miles between her school and his, so we have a little bit of bonding time.

This mornings conversation went like this...

Both of us were singing along with the radio.

BB: Mom, how do babies get in mommies bellies.

Me: I'm sorry, what?

BB: How do the babies get in the bellies.

Me: Honey, why do you want to know.

BB: Because I want to know how them get in the bellies.

Me: Because Jesus puts them there.

BB: Okay!

Silence the rest of the way to school.

Where do they come up with these things and what in the world was going through his little head that made THAT the question for the morning?!

First day of school 1.3

I think we are going to consider this the first official day of school, since she will technically be there all day. Today, she had school until 12:30 but will then go to latch key. (Which apparently is extremely cool because it's all both of them talked about this weekend.)



Walking up to the doors...


Peeking in the window...


Ready for Mom to leave...


And someone scored a cookie for breakfast because Mom was a wreck...


And in case you were wondering, I didn't even make it back to the car today before the waterworks started.

First day of school 1.2

Today, she opted to have her picture taken in front of the morning glory vines.



As I mentioned yesterday, today was only a two hour day and she was without me.

I got to hang out with this red mustache bandit.



Her report when I picked her up was "I really like kindergarten."

There were no tears until I had dropped everyone off at day care and this song came on the radio.

O, well...there is always Monday :)

Don't be a Grover

When I was a kid, I used to LOVE this book.



And now, my kids love this book.

The basic story is Grover starts flipping out after the first page when you read that there is a monster at the end of the book. Page after page, he constructs new obstacles to try to keep you from going forward. And, page after page, you prove his efforts to be futile.

At the end of the book (stop reading if you don't want me to spoil it for you) there isn't anything but Grover. He's the monster at the end of the book. He freaked out for nothing and even points out his embarrassment.

As we were reading this the other night, dear old Grover taught me a pretty big life lesson.

The reason why the kids (and I) always love this book is because it lets them demonstrate...

courage,

determination,

confidence,

strength,

bravery,

all of those things that we want for our kids.

Lately, I have been less like them and more like Grover. I freak out about what the future holds when it's going to happen regardless. And, most likely, the only bad thing that is going to happen was all constructed in my own imagination. At the end of the day, I'm just sitting there embarrassed about all of the time I wasted worrying about something didn't even happen. I'm not sure when I changed, but I don't like it.

Has anyone else experienced this, the lack of fearlessness as you've gotten older?

The Wilderness

"There are some things that can only be learned in the wilderness."

I found this quote this week and it has really stuck with me.

You see, I have always been a fickle person. I am always curious about what else is out there and I want the next best thing. I also must be in control at all times. Both have lead me down some very bad paths. And while my life on the outside looks to be pretty peachy, I definitely recognize now that I have spent the past 12 months in a state of wilderness both with managing my finances to my relationship with my husband.

I have spent many hours in the past year trying to figure out what my next step. Many hours crying because my life wasn't turning out the way I wanted it to. Many hours just feeling lost.

But I still refused to surrender or admit that I had any real issues to deal with.

Within the past 3 months, I have been trying to not focus on what I don't have but appreciate the things I do have. And it's been during the past 3 months, that I have been able to put aside my pride and ask God for help.

And then I began to recognize the wilderness.

Without going into all of the details here, I'll try to sum it up. For the past 30 days, I had no idea where we would be living after July 1. We purchased our current home and really got in over our heads. The home sold but not without some painful lessons learned along the way. In the past 60 days, my husband had two job offers literally slip away. Essentially, as soon as I handed it over to God to deal with, things got really bad. For someone who normally has every detail planned out, living in a state of uncertainty has been a tough battle for me to face.

So, for the past 30 days, I have tried to continually focus on faith. And let me tell you, it has not been easy. But, I'm still believing.

And while I have been learning, God has kept His promises...
14 days ago, A. started a job that is significantly better than the two that slipped away.
10 days ago, we were led to the perfect house for us and yesterday I completed the paperwork to move.

I know that I will continue to grow as a wife, mother and person. Sometimes, we just have to leave our little happy place to learn those life lessons that help us grow.

Happy birthday to me!

Yesterday marked my 35th year of existence. As I lay in bed last night, I reflected on the day and compared it to my 25th year of existence celebration.

6 AM: (Year 35) convinced my standby baby sitter Walt Disney to watch the kids for 90 minutes so I could sleep in. (Year 25) Oblivious that it is 6 a.m.

7:30 AM (Year 35) head downstairs to discover that Walt failed to let the kids know that star burst are not an acceptable breakfast. (Year 25) Oblivious that it is 7:30 a.m.

8 AM – 8:30 AM (35) prepare waffles and eggs for the children. Begin packing up kitchen appliances. (25) Oblivious.

9 AM (35) discover that there are waffles stuck to the dining room wall and somehow son has managed to spray perfume in his hair. Shower children and self. Notice self in the mirror and wonder what the heck happened to my body. Could stand to lose 80 lbs. (25) Wake up and notice self in the mirror. Could stand to lose 10 lbs. Call to make tanning appointment.

9:30 AM (35) head to church (25) head back to bed.

11 AM (35) get inflated confidence and decide to take the children our for lunch (25) head out to tanning appointment.

11:10 AM (35) remember that taking the children to lunch is the worst.idea.ever. (25) remember that I need to get some more thread to finish up the snake skin pants that I have sewn for myself to wear out to the club at night.

1 PM (35) return home and beg the children to let me take a nap (25) think about taking a nap before I go out tonight.

1:30 (35) bribe children with candy for a 30 minute nap (25) head to a quiet little sandwich shop with my sister for lunch.

2 PM (35) begin pulling hair out because I’m so tired (25) pick up fabulous wigs to wear out to the club.

2:30 (35) head to basement to pack more boxes (25) head back to bed.

5 PM (35) make pb&j for dinner (25) make a batch of margaritas.

6 PM (35) take children to VBS and consider taking a nap in my mini-van for 2 hours in the parking lot (25) make sure my fancy sports car is cleaned out for rolling up to the club.

8 PM (35) retrieve children and head home, noticing in the car on the ride home that something has thrown up on my pants sometime between 9 AM and 8 PM (25) pace myself on the drinking because I don’t want to throw up between 1 AM – 5 AM.

9 PM (35) head to bed (25) head to the club.

10 PM (35) oblivious that it is 10 PM (25) just getting started!

And I wouldn’t trade my life now for the world (maybe just a nap).

Busy, busy, busy

I probably could have posted more this week, but it would have looked something like this...

Sunday - Yelled at dogs, kids, and husband.
Monday - Yelled at kids and husband.
Tuesday - Yelled at husband.
Wednesday - Yelled at kids and husband.
Thursday - Cried.

So, I'm hoping for a better weekend.

The reason I broke down on Thursday is because my baby graduated from pre-school.



Seriously! I cannot believe how quickly these kids are growing up!



The school had a very nice program. Then afterward they had a BBQ and playtime for the kids.





I will post later this weekend about my Baby Bear discovery that happened during the BBQ.

Fairy visits

This past weekend, we planted fairy gardens on our front porch. I think all of the fairy power must have summonsed the Tooth Fairy, because last night we lost another tooth.



P.S. - I'm in love with the collage feature on Picasa.

Sometimes it's not so pretty

Raising kids is hard work.

Raising my kids is especially hard work.

This blog has been dedicated to our little story about raising these kids, but I’ve left out one key element. It’s not always fun and sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I can’t find the humor in the situation.

Sometimes I get really annoyed with them.

And during those times, I feel like a horrible human being. I think about all of those parents who are desperate to have a child and feel like I'm being selfish. We've been blessed with two amazing healthy children; but they behave like wild donkeys.

Because I’m an individual who is driven by logic, I always think I can read the perfect book or watch enough Nanny 911 to “fix” whatever craziness has overtaken their tiny brains. What I’m discovering though, is that thinking I can outsmart them is about as effective as the dog owner who thinks they can yell “SHHHH” at the dog like Ceasar Milan and have it make a difference.

This weekend, the girl decided to strip down and get nekkid in the front yard during the neighborhood yard sale. She wanted to put on her swimming suit. And I’m sure there may be a funny story here, but it made me really mad. And how do you explain to a 5 year old, that there are a bunch of random strangers in the neighborhood and one could just decide to run off with your nekkid little girl self – without freaking her out to the point that she will never function normally in society?

And not to be left out, the boy went to the neighbor’s house and decided to spray everyone with the garden hose so that it created a huge mud pile for everyone getting on and off the trampoline. Then after he finished his timeout sentence, he through one of the biggest fits of his entire 4 years of existence when he was handed a popsicle with the wrapper already removed. And as I carried him back to our house to his room, he kicked and hit and spit the entire time.

Other parents tell me similar horror stories, but it always seems like my kids are able to out-do them.

So this week, I’m weary. I feel like they’ve won. I’m thanking GOD we have committed to not having any more children. I’m feeling like I’ve already failed and we are just barely into this thing.

If you have the magic beans to make this thing work, please send them right away.

Ginormica

These pants fit just fine in December.

And this morning...

Loose Teeth

A couple of weeks ago, I was out of town for a week for work. It's always weird coming back home, because I swear they both change so much in one week. This last trip proves my point.

Everything seemed to be as normal as our home gets right up until bedtime. We had tucked Mooka away for the night and I went to catch up on television. About five minutes later, there was screaming and banging and crying coming from her room. A. was the first on the scene. She proceeded to frantically tell us that she has a loose tooth.

What the heck?!

She's only 5 (and a half, but I'm trying to ignore that detail).

The next day when I dropped them off for school, I asked the director about what is normal. She showed me a couple of the kids who already have those gummy smiles.

Great, so she's normal.

But seriously!

Fast forward to today, she now has TWO loose teeth. Baby Bear has started checking his now on a daily basis just so he can get in on the action.

UGH - this is all going way too fast!

On a more fun note, I was able to find these adorable tooth fairy pillows on the Lil Pink Chicken shop on etsy. I figured I'd go ahead and get BB one since we'll be doing this with him very soon too. I just hope the pillow gets here before she actually loses it.

For her...



For him...

To pierce or not to pierce

As I daily struggle with my baby turning into a little kid, life gave me a cruel wake up call this weekend.

A and I refused to get Mooka's ears pierced when she was a baby. Our stance has always been, when she's old enough to understand and ask for it, then we will let her. I had no idea she would be "old enough" so soon. After seeing Sugar Bean this weekend at church, Mooka asked if we could get her ears pierced. I almost fainted. How can she be growing up so fast? Is there a way to stop this? How can she feel peer pressure from a six month old baby? She won't even let me pull a band aid off her without throwing a fit, how in the world will she sit through ear piercing?

In order to buy myself some more time, I told her we would wait until next weekend.

So here is my question, is it too soon for this?